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The Return Of The Living Dead

Do you wanna party? The dead rise and seem to inquire, 'Do you wanna party ?!?' It's closing time at the Uneeda Medical Supply Center. Owned by a character named Burt Wilson (Clu Gulager), this firm has seen profitable turns in its past decade, should we forgive the embarassing secret in its basement. New employee Freddie (Thom Mathews) is being briefed by longtime manager Frank (James Karen) on how Uneeda stocks their items. On how shipping forms are filled out. On how orders are packaged for shipment. On just about every damn thing except....

A brain-hungry zombie closes in on a new victim. BRAINS!

Didn't we just mention something about an embarassing secret in the basement? We did? Okay, here it is.

In the basement of this otherwise-innocuous building is a series of large cannisters. Inside these cannisters are the remains--and incriminating evidence--of a failed bio-warfare experiment from the Vietnam era. A typical army fuck-up has kept its whereabouts hidden all this time. And when Frank and Freddie unintentionally unleash the deadly Trioxin gas from one of the cannisters, the stage is set for mayhem, especially since they're right next door to a cemetery full of buried corpses just ready to interact with the resurrective chemical.

If I let you use the crematorium, what's in it for me?

Once Burt returns and cajoles help from his undertaker pal Ernie (Don Calfa), Freddie's punk-rocker friends show up to aid them in this battle with the undead. But how do you kill something that's already dead? And what do you tell the Army when you dial the toll-free number stencilled on the side of the cannister? That you've willingly kept the erroneous shipment of contaminated cannisters a secret all these years?

Relax, kiddies. These questions are all dealt with in turn, as the ever resourceful Colonel Glover (Jonathan Terry) takes over during the final moments of the film and initiates a solution that is at once disturbing and hilarious. Now go watch the damn movie. Pronto.

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